The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast
Hosted by Danielle Black
A no-fluff, evidence-based podcast for parents navigating post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, and high-conflict separation and divorce - with a relentless focus on protecting children in a system that too often fails them.
Hosted by Danielle Black, Australia’s leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, this podcast is not about "amicable co-parenting at all costs", outdated ideologies, or adult notions of fairness. It is about understanding how abuse frequently continues through parenting arrangements after separation - and what genuinely child-centred decision-making looks like when risk, fear, or power imbalance is present.
Each episode challenges the myths that place children in harm’s way, including Australia’s dangerous obsession with 50/50 shared care, the misapplication of "friendly parent" ideals, and the expectation that protective parents should endlessly compromise to keep the peace.
Drawing on developmental science, research-based evidence, trauma-informed practice, and lived experience, Danielle breaks down:
- How post-separation abuse actually operates
- Why many standard parenting frameworks fail children in high-conflict cases
- What evidence-based, defensible, child-focused parenting really requires
- How to move from confusion and self-doubt to clarity and confidence
This podcast is for parents who are done minimising risk, done being gaslit by systems and professionals, and done prioritising adult comfort over children’s safety and development.
Expect direct language, research-backed insight, practical guidance and a few cuss words here and there - not platitudes, false balance, or pressure to accept arrangements that don’t sit right - because children’s wellbeing matters more than adult fairness. Always.
To go deeper, explore The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, Danielle’s flagship program supporting parents to make informed, protective decisions after separation.
Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au
Keywords: post-separation abuse, family violence, coercive control, high-conflict parenting, separation, divorce, family court, Australian family law.
Episodes
89 episodes
87. Welcome to 2026: What protective parents need to know (and utilise) this year
2025 was a big year - for families navigating separation, and for the work we do here at Danielle Black Coaching.In this episode, I’m welcoming you into 2026 by reflecting on what we learned in 2025, what’s coming next, and - most...
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33:41
86. Information vs Integration - Why consuming content isn’t the same as becoming strategic
It’s easy to listen to podcasts, read posts on socials, and consume information… but none of that automatically turns you into the credible, strategic, protective parent you need to be in a post-separation, coercive-control landscape.
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10:55
85. Why being strategic, and well-informed, saves you money in the long run
Most parents assume that family law is financially exhausting because lawyers and court processes are inherently expensive. But that's not the full story.Legal fees explode when parents approach their matter reactively instead ...
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12:24
84. How likely is equal shared parenting time & decision-making?
Is 50/50 shared care or equal shared parental responsibility (decision making) automatic in Australia? No - but it is highly likely if protective parents consent to it out of exhaustion.This episode breaks down the biggest myth in...
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15:08
83. To the parents who have invested in themselves - this episode is for you
This episode is a heartfelt message to the parents who have joined The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ or invested in coaching - parents who have chosen courage over comfort, strategy over survival, and capacity over chaos.Da...
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13:37
82. When programs, certificates and parenting orders don't equal safety
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected.If you've been told "he's done the program, so thing...
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25:27
81. Stop googling 'narcissists' - What Australian protective parents REALLY need to understand
If you’ve ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you.Because here’s the truth:Understanding “narc...
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19:09
80. Understanding coercive control (Part 2): The 7 patterns directed at children
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm.In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black breaks down the 7 child-directed patterns...
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21:22
79. Understanding coercive control (Part 1): Why most professionals miss it
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger?...
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16:55
78: Lead, don’t follow: Evidence over ideology in post-separation parenting
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety.But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not chi...
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15:09
77. When loving the other parent feels like betrayal - How to support your child without making them choose
It’s one of the hardest parts of post-separation life: your child still loves, misses, or defends the parent who hurt you.In this deeply compassionate episode, Danielle Black explores the grief, anger, and fear beneath that experience - and...
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11:49
76. Changes in UK family law: What Australia must learn (and face)
Recent reforms in the United Kingdom have shaken the family-law landscape - finally recognising that domestic abuse is not just an adult issue, but a child-safety issue. In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down what’s chan...
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13:22
75. Radical acceptance & capacity: What actually changes your life
When your co-parent’s behaviour never seems to change, it’s easy to believe that peace will only come once they start doing things differently.But waiting for that moment keeps you stuck - exhausted, reactive, and powerless....
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16:56
74. The thought error keeping you stuck
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “My life will only improve when my ex changes,” this episode is for you.In this conversation, Danielle unpacks one of the most common - and painful - thought errors that keeps protective pa...
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11:20
73. Understanding the "Ted Bundy Effect" and making strategic decisions
If you've just received a family report that's gotten it completely wrong, this episode is for you. Today we're talking about the "Ted Bundy Effect" in family court - why professionals consistently miss coercive control even when the evidence i...
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26:33
72. Capacity for final trial: staying calm & credible in family court
The word “trial” shouldn’t mean losing yourself. When the stakes feel sky-high, your greatest asset is your capacity - your ability to stay calm, credible and relentlessly child-focused during your Family Court trial.In this epi...
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9:28
71. When the family report gets it wrong
A bad family report can feel like a punch to the gut - especially when coercive control gets reframed as “conflict” and your protective choices are miscast as gatekeeping.In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, I u...
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21:45
70. Preparing for your family report
Today we’re walking you through a calmer, clearer way to prepare for meeting with a report writer - one grounded in practical tools and a steady presence that keeps your kids front and centre. Rather than chasing perfect responses, ...
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10:20
69. The invisible work that leads to real change
When a single text can hijack your nervous system, “being strong” isn’t a mindset - it’s a skill you can hone and strengthen. We go behind the scenes of protective parenting and my simple three-step framework (knowledge, capacity, and advocacy)...
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13:42
68. The Power of your mind after separation: Sanctuary or Torture Chamber?
After separation, our mind can turn into either a sanctuary or a torture chamber. In this episode we touch on neuroplasticity, the brain–body loop, and how visualisation activates many of the same pathways as real experience.
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10:33
67. When silence feels safer, and why 'communicating better' isn't enough
You know the message you need to send - your body knows it too. The heart race at each notification, the late‑night rehearsals, the drafts you delete because every time you raise a concern it explodes into denial or a character assassination. T...
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19:21
66. Are you laying awake in the early hours? ...I've been there...
The clock says 3 a.m., but your mind won’t switch off. You can still feel your child’s legs wrapped around your waist at changeover, hear the cry that says "stay", and taste the guilt of agreeing to overnights that never felt right. You were to...
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17:57
65. Child-Focused Parenting After Separation: A conversation with specialist coach Trudie Hargrave
What if you already have the power to protect your children after separation, but no one's ever told you? In this revealing conversation, Principal Coach and Director of Danielle Black Coaching, Danielle Black, welcomes Specialist Coach Trudie ...
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35:38
64. Unveiling the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™
The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ is launching after months of development, offering a comprehensive system that transforms protective parents from conflict-avoidant to strategic advocates for their children's needs.• Knowledge c...
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17:52
63. The System that Fails Children: Part 3 - The evidence-based solution and what protecting children actually looks like
Evidence-based approaches that prioritise child safety after separation exist, yet our current family law system in Australia continues to fail children by putting parental contact above protection. When we strip away ideology and look at what ...
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25:04